Final visit to the fertility specialist

This morning we had what may be our last visit to the fertility specialist. My wife couldn’t take another half day off work (last week she had to take a day off for a funeral, a day off for a migraine, and a day off for a wedding, and then it was a long weekend), so I put her on speaker phone for the duration of the appointment. That actually worked pretty well. The doctor made an effort to talk to her as well as me, and he checked in with her to make sure she understood/heard everything. I understand why there are negative reviews of this doctor out there – he is arrogant and rough around the edges with sometimes inappropriate jokes, but he is also very competent, and underneath his dry humor he is very compassionate and reassuring. And particularly, I would recommend him to a same-sex couple who is ttc.

I got some really, really great news at the appointment. All my test results came back, and I have open tubes, ship-shape uterus, and NO PCOS!!!! I can’t believe it, since another doctor had officially diagnosed me with PCOS, verified with ultrasound. But I choose to believe the guy who specializes in PCOS!

My blood work showed low B12, but that is likely just because we don’t eat a lot of meat. I am on B12 supplement now and will retest next month. The blood work also showed regular day 3 hormone levels, and the doctor gave us the go ahead to start trying on our own. He said there shouldn’t be any reason to prescribe medications to help me carry (I’m assuming he was referring to progesterone), so we should just try until I miss a period and then do a home pregnancy test. Exciting!!

He also recommended that I track ovulation using OPKs, but he warned against getting too caught up in the tracking. I expressed concern that I hadn’t ovulated this month based on my cervical mucous tracking, and he said that if I have regular cycles, I am ovulating. His feelings were that tracking all of these things obsessively can lead to added stress, and that stress can backfire on you when ttc – prime example, me getting stressed that I didn’t ovulate because of one missing symptom, months before I actually need to be thinking about when I ovulate.

So what are our next steps? There are still lots of logistics we have to work out, including those around using our known donor. I will also do a few months of OPKs to figure out when I tend to ovulate in my 31 day cycle. I would love to start trying in September, but we still haven’t dealt with one of the concerns I outlined in my first ever blog post – my wife still has a job that has her out of the house for 13 hours a day and some weekends. Another sticking point is that my sister in law has been ttc for 2 years now and we would feel really bad if we got pregnant before her. But we will see how we feel once all of our ducks are in a row and that is the only thing left that we are waiting for.

2 thoughts on “Final visit to the fertility specialist”

  1. Sounds like everything went pretty well! Sometimes, just using OPK’s and not worrying about all the other stuff is the best way…September is a great time to start! You’re baby will be born well after the cold winter months when you can’t take them outside (which totally sucks! Trust me!). In regards to you SIL. Being in the throes of TTC for so long, makes you bitter as F*ck! If I may…you may want to tell them personally and gently if/when you do get pregnant and not catch them off guard. It’ll lead to less resentment and hurt feelings. I wish my sister would have taken this approach with us when we had been TTC for 18 months with no success and she decided to blurt out over family dinner “OOPS! We’re pregnant with an unplanned baby!” Yeah, as you can imagine, that totally sucked! But wishing you all the success in the world!

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    1. Thank you for the well wishes! And thank you for the sage advice. I can only imagine the bitterness and frustration that comes from months of ttc. I have had some conversations with my SIL about our baby making plans, but I have always made sure to end it with “but we’re just in the early stages… won’t be for a while yet”. When we start inseminating my wife and I will probably be wise to keep her intimately in the loop so she is not surprised.

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