Obsessing

I can’t believe how much I am obsessing over this on the first cycle… not a good indication of how I will deal with 2 week waits!

We have inseminated twice: once on CD15 and again on CD16. We are skipping tonight because our donor is busy and I don’t want to appear too needy.

Today is CD17, and I have had 4 days of flashing smilies (indicating high fertility, but not peak fertility), and the test instructions say you should get 2 days of high followed by 2 days of peak. And then you should ovulate.

I have been poring over my fertilityfriend charts trying to figure out if I agree with its predictions or not. I have been googling stats on the Clearblue Advanced OPK, and how long sperm can live inside the fallopian tubes.  Every morning that I have temped since the inseminations started I have been frustrated to see another low temperature, indicating that ovulation has not yet happened.

Why am I such a nut case about this right now? I am only on CD17, and the average ovulation date over my past 3 ovulatory cycles was CD19.

If I could just have sex with my spouse to get pregnant, I don’t think I would be so obsessed. I am stressed about needing more sperm donations than my donor might want to give this month, I am stressed about wasting the donations he has already given if we started too early, and I am once again stressed about being away for the Thanksgiving weekend if I have a late ovulation.

Someone talk some sense into me… Fingers crossed that I will feel pretty stupid about this post come tomorrow when something – either the OPK or my temperature – brings me some clarity.

____________________________

*An update from CD18: smiley face is still flashing, and temp was still low. The frustration continues…

9 thoughts on “Obsessing”

  1. Ugh, those days before ovulation are so stressful. Try to remember to breathe and focus on taking care of yourself. I know it’s hard to think about anything else, though.

    Like

  2. And after the two week waits comes the stressing of early pregnancy (What was that twinge?!) then the stressing of later pregnancy (Is that a kick or gas?!), then the end of pregnancy (Is that a contraction?!) then early parenting (Is my supply enough?!) and then you just get so tired that you forget you have a body at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How exciting that the journey has begun for you both! My wife and I aren’t starting until January, so I have no words of advice from experience, but I’ll be crossing my fingers for you and following along!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey there! I always got 4-5 days of flashing before the two days of solid, so you might just have a bit slower surge. As for the “crazies”, buckle your seatbelt… I found that I could obsess over the tiniest details (and still do!). Just try to focus on the positives: your body IS surging, your donor is willing, and you’re doing a great job spreading donations over the ovulation window! Try to have your donor come one more time when you get the solid smiley. That ought to do it. And good luck!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Fresh sperm lives a lot longer than frozen, so you can get pregnant if you inseminate before you get pregnant. The Clear Blue Digital with the blinking smiley face is a little confusing, I never really cared for it. Good luck. It’s hard not to obsess… it’s like we are trying to have some semblance of control over an uncontrollable thing, and it’s maddening lol!

    Like

  6. I know I’m a little behind on this (I have two more unread blogs of yours to go yet!) but I thought I’d comment now … why not have a word with your donor, tell him you’re feeling stressed about over stepping the mark, ask where ‘the mark’ is. I think probably even you expressing this concern will alleviate any annoyance he may have had in being summonsed so often?

    Like

    1. That is really good advice. The best thing to do is always to talk it out! Before we start on the next cycle we will debrief with him.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s