We got some more baby stuff handed down to us last weekend – a baby bathtub with the little sling insert for newborns, and a bouncer seat that rocks and plays music. We did more sorting/purging work on the nursery, but it still looks like a bomb went off in there. You can’t even walk in the doorway without stepping on/over stuff.
My wife and I had our first parenting disagreement. She voted yes on the prenatal screening tests, and I voted no. However, we are still going ahead with it, because I can’t get my way every time. The reason I did not want to do it is because – if you are not high risk to begin with – it’s a numbers game that is much more likely to cause unnecessary worry than to give accurate information about your baby’s health. The test tells you if your baby is at risk of a chromosomal abnormality. The test also has a 5% false positive rate. Among those deemed at risk, the amount of babies who actually have chromosomal abnormalities is much smaller than the amount of healthy babies. What this translates to is that only about 1 out of every 200 screening test positives are actually cases of chromosomal abnormalities. If we get a screening test positive, even though the chance of a problem is only 0.5%, we would move on to amniocentesis, which is an invasive test involving a needle in the abdomen that takes a sample of amniotic fluid. This test carries with it the risk of miscarriage: studies show rates are anywhere from 0.6% to 1.4% – higher than the chance that something is actually wrong with your baby. But alas, my wife wants to know every detail she can about what we are getting ourselves into in 7 months, which is a legitimate desire. The plus side is that we get to see little bug again with ultrasound at 12 weeks, when it should look more like a baby. And maybe I can bring up my flexibility on this matter when negotiating for a home birth 😉
I had an upsetting baby dream this week. In the dream we had decided to adopt, and our new 12 day old baby was dropped off at our door by FedEx. If only…. It was a little girl whom the birth mother had named Megan (not actually on our list of names). I was ogling the little cutie and falling in love at first sight when I noticed blood soaking through the diaper. I asked the FedEx guy what happened to my baby and he explained that the baby was born intersex with internal female genitalia and external male, and that the doctor at birth made a decision and surgically removed the penis. I was FURIOUS. I was beside myself with anger and with sadness for this little baby because a surgery had been done without consent and a gender assigned without a second thought. My dream flashed forward two years when little Megan started showing a preference for a male gender expression. I raged on at the doctor who had tried to make that choice for our child. Clearly my LGBTQ activist work permeates my dreams and my parenting fears…
Bodily Experiences This Week
- Hips and lower back have been really sore and stiff
- Uterus muscles feel sore
- So dizzy!
- Pants won’t do up, ordered maternity jeans online from Motherhood Maternity. I’m also in my wife’s bras now (handy!), which means I have gone up 1 1/2 cup sizes.
- Emotional. My wife and I went out after work one day this week to shop for maternity pants, and in the car on the way to the mall I started crying for no apparent reason. I ended up shopping with red eyes, but by the time I got out of the car I couldn’t remember what I had been crying about.
Baby this week
- Size of a Kumquat at 1.2″ from crown to rump
- vital organs are fully developed
- fingernails and hair are starting to appear
- little bug is swallowing!