Pregnancy Update Week 19

Anatomy scan in T-minus 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like a kid 4 days before Christmas, if my birthday also fell on Christmas.

We’ve been receiving a lot of unsolicited advice over the last couple of months since coming out of the baby closet. What pregnant couple hasn’t…. Some of the advice is so out to lunch and contradictory that I have trouble remembering if it was real advice or something from a stress dream. We have been instructed to only bite our baby’s nails, and to never bite our baby’s nails. We have been told that breast pumping too early will mess up my milk supply, and that pumping right from Day One is the only way to get my milk to come in. We have been told that bottle feeding too early will deter breastfeeding, and that not bottle feeding from the beginning will make it impossible for others to feed our baby if my boob needs a break. We have been told to use a wipe warmer because we have a cold house, and we have been told that a wipe warmer will spoil the baby and make diaper changing away from home into a scream-fest. We have been given many, many opinions on home birth vs. hospital birth (no birthing centre in my town), and it is enough to make my face turn red with rage. The last time we were in a situation with a friend telling us that a home birth was a crazy idea because I would definitely want an epidural, I had to excuse myself to the washroom for a quick stress cry. I want a shirt that says “No unsolicited advice, please!” I would rather seek out the advice I want and need, as I want and need it.

Preparations for Baby

My wife has begun to buckle down on the home improvement to-do list (it fills an entire lined sheet of paper). She started refinishing the antique phonograph that has been stored, in pieces, in the future baby’s room, and in the evenings after work this week she re-painted our entire upstairs and downstairs hall because I decided I didn’t like the colour anymore. I decided to surprise her by doing a coat when she was at work, because I wanted a break from doing work and she has been so busy lately. I got in trouble. Apparently everyone is still very judgmental of a pregnant woman painting, even when the paint is zero-VOC latex.

It still infuriates me to be told I can’t do something when the evidence doesn’t back up the risk. Zer0-VOC paint is safe to use. Pregnant women can still lift things under 50lbs (especially if they did before getting pregnant). Pregnant women can clean litter boxes if they wash their hands right after. Allies of my self-determination cause tell me I should just appreciate that people are willing to do things for me, but that is inconsistent with being self-determined and intensely independent. Also, people suddenly seem less concerned about my frailty when I am hauling heavy groceries – a task that nobody wants to do.

Bodily Experiences This Week

    • Craving: still craving lemons, hardcore. We went to a local maple syrup festival last weekend and surrounded by all the sweet maple syrup and funnel cake and cinnamon buns, all I wanted was lemons. I eat a lemon a day. On its own.
    • Fetal movement: still just flutters, but I am now confident that it is little bug moving around and not just gas or indigestion. I’m now feeling it almost every day, but still very faint. I have noticed a pretty cool pattern with the movement over the past several weeks – my cat laying on or against my baby bump always elicits little bug’s kicks. The strongest movement has been when the cat is on my belly. Maybe the baby and the cat are forming a special bond. Or maybe the baby already hates the cat.
    • Hip pain. So bad that I sometimes hobble around the house like an 80 year old.

Baby This Week

  • 6″ long and over half a pound at 8.5oz. Little bug is the size of a mango.
  • Developing vernix caseosa to protect its skin. Vernix caseosa is a coating of hair, oil, and dead skin cells all over baby’s skin. Gross.
  • The coolest thing in baby’s development for me this week is the size of its hands. In the Ovia pregnancy app you can see your fetus’s hand print grow every week, and this week it just looks so big all of a sudden. You could almost hold its little hand. Here is the comparison from 9 weeks gestation to now (the outline is newborn size)


5 thoughts on “Pregnancy Update Week 19

  1. Omg, the toxoplasmiosis thing is annoying. Every. Single. Doctor. asks about the cats and who is doing the litter changing. But the thing is, you’re really only at risk if you have outdoor cats, and if those outdoor cats are actually kittens who probably haven’t been exposed to toxo yet. You have a much higher risk from gardening, but that’s never mentioned. I’d still be scooping, but Lady works next to a lab that handles toxo, so I actually have a legit excuse to abstain. 🙂
    Also lol about people only being concerned/trying to help when it’s convenient to them. So true! Gah.
    Hope you can find that shirt soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sticking up for me!! My midwife actually was very rational about the cat litter after asking about my personal history with cats and our cats’ personal history. She offered to do a blood test that would show I was resistant to toxo – we just keep forgetting to do it. Also, my mom is a vet and said it takes cat poop 24 hours since being pooped out to actually transmit toxo. So when our cat poops all over the floor through the day (IBD), it is safer for me to pick it up right away than to tip toe around it all day waiting for someone else to clean it up!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The handprints kind of freak me out, actually. I just keep looking at the size, compared to what the rest of the fetus’s size is supposed to be at this point, and they seem huge. I keep imagining a fetus with giant monster hands.

    On an unrelated note, I just started a Facebook group for LGBTQ folks expecting babies in the fall. If you (or anybody else) would like to join, just send me an e-mail at!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Man that’s a lot of opinions floating around you! Good luck tuning them out. As with everything, you make your own way and seek advice when you need it. Too bad others don’t realize this when they are dishing it out unsolicited. Good intentions though, right?

    Liked by 1 person

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