She smiles at me all the time now. Real smiles. When your baby starts recognizing you and showing you signs that you are doing a good job meeting her needs, it makes any post-partum discomfort or challenges bearable.
Still healing… There is a spot that still stings when I pee, and I’m still losing stitches. I had a panicked moment when I saw a long white stitch in my sitz bath – our cat was sick and we didn’t know what had caused the fluid in his lungs, and the stitch looked like a lung worm. I thought I had contracted worms from him and panicked that Avery would have worms. Luckily my mom, a veterinarian, was visiting and identified it as a stitch the next day. Panic averted.
I’m finally able to not wear pads anymore. Still haven’t looked at the damage, or touched it. Still afraid to. At my final post-partum midwife appt next week my midwife will check on my healing, and I’m hoping she will tell me it has all gone back to normal so I won’t be afraid to look.
I’m starting to settle into a nighttime routine. I can now usually get 3 hour sleep stretches at night, and last night we had our first 4 hour stretch since she was 1 day old. While I used to try side lying nursing in bed during night feeds, I have discovered that nursing is more efficient if we go to our chair in the nursery with dimmed lighting. That way we can both stay awake enough to make sure she gets a full feed, diapers can be changed right there, and she still falls asleep on my chest during burping and transfers well back to the bassinet (thank god!!).
Although I’m getting more sleep at night now, I’m more tired than ever. I’m becoming delirious and having trouble holding a conversation. #momlife.
Daytime naps usually last longest when she is allowed to sleep on me. I should nap when she naps, but I just want to stare at her while she sleeps. Those cuddle naps are my favourite part of the day.
Real Life With a Baby
My 2 year wedding anniversary was yesterday. It was a very unsuccessful attempt at a romantic evening. I grilled super nice steaks that we wouldn’t ordinarily spend the money on, but we ended up taking turns eating and I basically inhaled mine so I could take the fussy baby from my wife before her food got cold. Then the fussiness continued to bedtime and my wife fell asleep while I walked around the house with the baby. We were both too exhausted for any romance anyway, even if the baby had had a low-needs night. My wife did get me a sweet card and a chocolate bar though, and I completely dropped the ball on a card or gift.