We conceived of this child together. We dreamed of her together, we planned for her together, we found our donor together and my wife even pushed the plunger that delivered the baby-making goods to my egg. My wife coached me through labor and saw our daughter emerge into the world before I did. She even cut the cord. But when we registered her birth, we couldn’t include my wife anywhere. We couldn’t even give the baby her actual last name because my wife was invisible in terms of the law.
We have spent months and lots of dollars to have my wife adopt Avery as a “second parent”. After all the required lawyer visits and a meticulously prepared shit-ton of paperwork, the court has sent back our application twice, for silly things like using blue ink instead of black ink. It has been an infuriating process and we are so excited to finally get this done so we can move on as a legally recognized family of 3, and my wife can stop worrying about her rights as a parent.
We really truly hope that the judge will approve the latest iteration of the adoption application and we will be able to file for a birth certificate and substituted birth registration with her new last name. When it finally goes through, I am throwing my wife and daughter a party.
I’m not the greatest at throwing parties. Back in my undergrad days my parties ended up being me and my roommates sitting around our living room eating chips and drinking out of plastic cups. Nobody ever came. Since moving in with my now-wife in our tiny old home, parties have been similarly small because I worry that every guest should have a place to sit, and we only have seating for 5 in our living room. I under-invite and downplay the fun that can be expected in my worries. But this is going to be different. I’m going to invite everyone who has supported us, near and far, family and friends, call it a drop-in party so people will hopefully flow in and out to make room for more guests, and I’m going to serve simple food I can easily set out ahead of time. Some chips, a veggie tray, and frozen hors d’oeuvres. I’ll also throw in a couple bottles of cheap wine and some cases of beer, and those plastic cups will make a reappearance from the undergrad days.
I’m struggling now to come up with decorations. Anyone have ideas? I have two things nailed down: I’ve ordered a onesie for my baby to wear that says “officially an [wife’s last name]”, and I’ve ordered a 6′ banner to hang that says “Love Makes A Family”. That’s all I’ve got… Any ideas to make the message hit home to our friends that this party is celebrating our long fought legal win?