I am sitting in my car, having left Avery with Gwen for the first time. It’s just for an hour or so, while they go to the park. I feel fine, probably because it’s just an hour and Avery loves being outside.
I’m so thankful to have Gwen as our daycare provider. She really gets me as a mother, more than most people in my immediate circle, actually. Her youngest daughter just started kindergarten and she has been a bundle of emotion about it. She started a home daycare because she couldn’t bring herself to leave her baby. She knows how hard it can be, and I haven’t felt judged at all about wanting to do a slow transition. She even keeps checking in with me to see how I’m feeling.
And it really wasn’t all that slow, now that I’ve decided to leave her for the first time on day 3. I wasn’t planning to leave her till tomorrow. But something changed in Avery’s demeanour this morning that signaled to me that it was time to make the break. The previous two daycare days, she was quiet and observant, and played with toys but kept coming back to me as a home base. She was happy to have me there. Today, my presence seemed to be setting her off. She wanted milk, but I didn’t give her any (I brush off her milk requests at home sometimes too when I know she doesn’t need it, and she’s fine with it). She cried. Gwen tried to distract her with a toy, but she only wanted to nurse. At another instance, I left the room to get her water and she cried at me leaving, but she stopped crying as soon as Gwen gave her a cuddle. As soon as I reappeared, she started crying again.
At snack time, Gwen did everything for her – gave her the food, gave her water, wiped her face, and took her out of the high chair. I sat in the background. Avery was happy as a clam with the whole situation.
So when Gwen said it was time for a walk to the park, I opted to sit in my car and let her take Avery without me. I’m eager to hear how it went. I’m not nervous. Even if she cries, I think she’ll be fine with Gwen.
Now to try to focus on work for the next hour.