1. I’ve been feeling like crap about my work output and my stalled, aimless professional trajectory. Then I received an email from the Canadian Centre of Science and Education asking if I had any manuscripts to submit to their journal. I know that a call for manuscripts is common and doesn’t necessarily mean that the journal wants YOU, but the email I got said,
“Dear Amy Ellard-Gray, I have had an opportunity to read your paper “Finding the Hidden Participant: Solutions for Recruiting Hidden, Hard-to-Reach, and Vulnerable Populations” and believe that you are an expert in this field.”
–I needed that.
2. Canadian Thanksgiving was a whirlwind, as are all of our long weekends. We have family all over the place. On one of our 2.5 hour trips between family homes, Avery screamed for an hour. We hadn’t slept the night before because we were in a strange environment. We didn’t sleep the next night because we were in another strange environment. We didn’t sleep when we got home because our sleep was all messed up from being away. I am so tired and so frustrated by the fact that we have to visit family every long weekend. It’s a shitty attitude to have, but I just wish everyone lived closer and would come to our house once in a blue moon.
3. The good parts of Thanksgiving: watching Avery interact with her extended family. She’s really shy still, except around my mom. She gets a serious case of the giggles when she sees my mom. It’s pretty cute. But the shyness is nice, too, because we end up with a really, really well behaved kiddo. She just sits quietly and observes. We also went apple picking at my mom’s place, which is an annual Thanksgiving tradition for us.
4. I’ve been feeling the stigma about “older” babies breastfeeding. As soon as Avery hit 12 months, family have been making subtle comments about how long I’m going to breastfeed for (and informing me that 2 is too old to breastfeed….), how they wonder if she is getting too many calories from my milk now that she’s eating food as well, how she needs to start drinking goats milk because she won’t always have breastmilk, and general questions about how often she nurses still. It’s infuriating, but I try to just brush it off and continue to nurse my daughter as she needs/wants it. I do offer her water first when she signs for milk, but if it’s milk (or comfort nursing) that she wants, I give it to her. I feel no shame, but I do feel frustration from the world at large trying to make me feel shame.