Avery’s sick again. She has a fever and a dry cough, and feels crappy. My wife was out of town today and it was a LONG day for me. Avery was lethargic but upset. She didn’t want to do anything but lay on a pillow on the floor and watch movies. I couldn’t even get her to go in the stroller for some fresh air – cue scream-fest on the verandah for the neighbours to hear. My wife made it home just after bedtime routine was finished. I sat in her room with her for an hour and a half. She would fall asleep on me, but I couldn’t transfer her. Every time I’d lean over her crib, she’d wrap her arms tight around my neck and whimper.
But I felt isolated and lonely from the day, and I couldn’t take being alone with her in that dark room any longer. I tagged my wife in. As I closed the door behind me as I left, I heard “Mama? Mama?” and she cried softly.
Heart wrenching for both me and my wife…
My wife gets the infant-guilt-trips, too, though. As she was leaving the house this morning Avery cried after her from the verandah, “Mo??, Mo Mo??”
Somehow it’s so much sadder when they call you by name.