30 Days of Blogging, Day 23

For today’s post I’m just going to share a blurb from the parenting book I’m reading right now (The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne). This passage spoke to me as I find myself correcting behaviour with every turn these days. Instead of getting frustrated or losing patience, I want to keep this in mind:

One effective way to teach your child the importance of respectfulness is to sweat the small stuff. You can insist daily that they behave respectfully in all the little ways. No big lectures needed. Simply stand firm when the line of respectfulness gets crossed.

Every time you insist on respectfulness or true courtesy, you are exercising his or her waiting muscle. Every time you pause and ask your child to reframe some comment, put-down, or mannerism that is disrespectful, you strengthen his or her impulse control. Every time you insist on table manners or pull your child aside and say, “No. We don’t use the word ‘stupid’ in our house; we do not say that in our family,” you are teaching him or her the language of respect and encouraging impulse control, little by little.

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4 thoughts on “30 Days of Blogging, Day 23

  1. I have done this with Evelyn and now that she’s nearly 5, I can say that she corrects herself most of the time when she slips up and is a very well-mannered kid who uses kind words. It’s a lot of work in the beginning and I sometimes felt like a bit of a hard-ass constantly reminding her of which words to use, etc…But it does work!

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  2. I already find myself struggling which battles to pick. Whining and crying away from a diaper change? The frustrated hand swat to my face when she’s angry? Tossing food on the ground? This is all harder than I expected, haha.

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    • I totally get what you’re feeling!! I mean, I knew people complained about terrible two’s and toddler attitude and “threenagers”, but until you’re in it, until your patience is pushed to its limits, you just can’t get how hard it it. And we love our kids so much that it’s a) hard to discipline them all the time, and b) hard to believe that our perfect little angels are being so mean to us!! 😁 I found The Soul of Discipline book really helpful in seeing the reasons behind the challenging misbehaviour, and I now feel more confident in making brief and clear corrections to behaviour. I think it has been helping to make Avery respond better. Even for those diaper changing fights!

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