Scar tissue

Did you know that you can buy vaginal dilators on Amazon? Apparently that’s the best place to buy them, according to my doctor…

I went to my doctor for a routine pap today and asked about my misshapen vagina post-childbirth. I was pretty sure I had some scar tissue that was causing pain, and I wanted to make sure that’s indeed what it was, and not something more sinister. My doctor confirmed that I actually have quite a lot of scar tissue and granuloma from all of my stitches, and it has caused a lot of the previously soft and stretchy tissue to become hard and impliable. My doctor warned that it could be a problem for a second vaginal birth. She said that before exploring surgery to remove the scar tissue (which could of course cause more scar tissue), she recommended gradual dilation with special dilating cones. Cones you can get on Amazon.

I’m not willing to spend the $80 it would cost for these devices, especially since I don’t see myself using them regularly enough for them to work. I also don’t have any desire to use perineal massage to soften the tissue. I tried that a bit before birth and I hated doing it, and I tore badly anyway. So my vagina and I are at a stale mate.

I suppose I owe it to my sex life to try something, and I’m sure a looming second pregnancy would light a fire under my ass to take the stretching seriously. But for now I’m just frustrated that my stitches were done poorly and that I’m so scarred up.

The really big granuloma is from that one tear that was still gaping open between two stitches at my 6-week post-partum follow-up appointment. The one my midwife (whom I love in every capacity except for her ability to give stitches) said would heal eventually on its own. Yeah, with a giant bulbous scar…

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7 thoughts on “Scar tissue

  1. Eeep! I’ve wondered about my own scarring – I have no idea if it would affect a second vaginal birth. I’d never heard of dilators before, but they sound kind of awful… I still have very occasional pain as well. I’ve always just assumed the doctor or nurses would mention it if something looked awry. I am grateful that although they were the most painful 45 minutes of my life (including natural childbirth) that the OB was meticulous in her repair work. It was awfulllll at the time, but I hope she did a good job.

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    • I’ve also heard from women who have vaginal births again with scarring and they tear less the second time, so you never know. I only brought it up with my doctor because it was bothering me. My midwife who saw it in its imminent scarring state didn’t mention that it might be a problem.
      That’s intense that the stitches were worse than birth for you! I was thankfully numbed and only felt a pinching feeling. I wish my midwife had passed the job off to someone else though. She was amazing at delivering my baby naturally, but not so gifted at stitches.

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      • Interestingly, I have a friend who birthed at a birth center, and her midwife DID pass her off to a doctor for repair work (meaning she got transported to the hospital via ambulance) but the birth center would not release the brand new baby, so she was sadly separated from baby for the first 4ish hours, and missed the first feeding. Lots of ways it can go!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh no!! That situation seems like the policy wasn’t prioritizing the mother-child bond at all 😞 so sad. I’d have lost my shit on the people trying to transfer me. I think that, in the moment, I wouldn’t see the importance of a good repair job. I’d beg to just come back for repairative surgery another day! It’s so hard to have control over your birth with so many moving pieces and different people involved.

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