Yeah, I know it’s better to focus on the positive. But I’m feeling a distinct lack of positivity today. Mom life isn’t always baby snuggles and baking cookies.
Being sick SUCKS. I think I have pneumonia now, because I’m rattling and wheezing and it feels hard to inflate my lungs when I breathe. I’ve also had a low grade fever for a couple of days. I’m shaky and sweaty. I feel gross. The problem was that we were ALL sick at the same time, so when I should have been resting to get over the flu, I was up with Avery 10 times a night. But life must go on. The toddler isn’t of an age yet where she knows that I need to rest. All she knows is that she wants “help, please?” with something different every 2 minutes.
And you know what else sucks? Scheduling our summer SUCKS. I’m a homebody. We have chickens and a large garden and we rarely get down time during the week, so I always crave a relaxing weekend at home to enjoy our backyard as a family. We almost never get that. I also love my wife’s family cottage (which, after this winter’s rebuild, is now more of a mansion on the beach), but it’s almost a 2.5 hour drive each way to spend the weekend there. We spend approximately every other weekend there in the summer. My parents each live 2.5 hours away from us in opposite directions, and they apply a heavy coating of guilt to requests for summer visits. And then there’s the social obligations that vary year to year like weddings and new babies being born. Yesterday we sat down and looked at our calendars to plan our week-long cottage vacation and the blue bars of obligations and plans covered so many of our summer weekends already. It makes me want to be an anti-social recluse and cut my social ties so I can finally get a lazy, quiet summer by myself without driving hundreds of kilometers.
Alright, grouch-fest over. Time to move on with life.