a little potty training spoiler

We’re potty training. I’m slowly drafting a big post about our experience using the Oh Crap! method, but we’re only on day 7 and I’m currently feeling the stress. Avery’s feeling the stress. It a highly intensive and stressful process, for both kids and adults. Poor Avery has been expressing her stress through restless sleep and frequent tantrums. She has been waking through the night crying “peed the bed! Pee goes in potty!”, despite the fact that she still wears a nighttime diaper specifically so she can sleep well without worrying about going potty. My wife and I haven’t talked about much besides potty training over the last 7 days. We’re constantly trying to discern if we’re going in the right direction, if this is working, if we’re supporting our little potty learner enough…

Don’t get me wrong, we are seeing progress. We are not giving up. I’m hopeful that in a couple of weeks I can publish my review of the Oh Crap! book and have a positive message about how well it worked!

Wish us luck! And send vodka.

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11 thoughts on “a little potty training spoiler

  1. I can only say with experience, 2 is still small for kids to totally get the hang of potty training. Most kids dont get it, it takes them a lot of time. Clearly if Avery is stressed out, its not worth it. You do not wAnt a child stressed over the most basic human function!

    2.5 is a different story, its way easier and quicker.

    Also, first borns are harder to train and *most* train completely only by 3. Second borns are quicker!

    Anyway, all I am saying is at any point she is throwing tantrums and getting stressed, back off a bit and start later. Let her decide the pace.

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    • Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂. I do have a few friends who potty trained at 18 and 20 months and it went well. And Avery is definitely getting it. I think the stress comes from the fast-paced Oh Crap method. But we’re giving her lots of love and support and I know she’ll get there within the next week or two.

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  2. So not looking forward to this! Two of my good friends did the Oh crap method, and I have the book. I’m thinking we’ll maybe start this winter, depending on how things are going with the baby. I know C is ready, I’m just not yet! Hope things go well with this for you!!

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  3. We saw a few of those signs of stress too (especially related to sleep), even though we gave off a very casual, easy attitude toward her about it. I think it’s self-imposed stress, because they already have an internal desire to succeed. While the actual potty training went pretty smoothly, it took a couple of weeks for the stress to go away, and we just tried to always be really calm, comforting, and reassuring that she’s doing well. Maybe spend some energy just trying to distract her from the process (which sounds totally counter-intuitive, but maybe having fun not thinking about it will help?).

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    • Thank you for the input!! It’s sooo hard to remain calm after the nth day of accidents and the suspicion that she’s just rebelling because she totally had it figured out days earlier. But I have to keep reminding myself that it will take time to change a lifelong habit. We try hard to be calm and supportive (while also being firm that pee does not go on the floor). And you’re right, it’s self-imposed pressure more than anything – she really wants to do the right thing, but it’s hard to change what she’s so used to. It takes a bit of time.
      How long did it take for you guys, to the point where you would say she was pretty much potty trained?

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      • I wish I had kept better notes, but it felt quick in hindsight. I think she was pretty reliable within 2-3 weeks. But we STILL have the occasional accident (3 months later, 26 months old). Our early accidents felt MUCH more like a control game. She would pee when she got mad or wanted to defy us. That phase passed, and now we have accidents because she’s too excited about something new/interesting. So, she’ll know she has to go, she’ll even tell us, but then she’ll stall and leak a little. I would say we have maybe one small accident (almost always pee, barely ever poop) every other week or so. We’ve seen that she has nap accidents if she is sick or is SUPER tired. (We don’t use diaper for nap, but we do for overnight). Hope that helps – hang in there. Avery has made huge progress already, and now it’s just a matter of practice and developing those new muscles.

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