I have been swinging back and forth from two extremes lately – desperately craving another baby and not wanting another child at all.
Right now I’m nearing ovulation, and my body and soul ache for a baby. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but I feel dramatic. So, there.
Last week, I absolutely did not want another child. I even drafted a blog post about how my one child was everything I wanted for our family, and I didn’t want to mess with our perfect dynamic by having another child.
My thoughts about having a second child have been on a pendulum, like this, since Avery turned two. The older she gets, and the easier life gets (no consequence), the harder it sounds to introduce baby days back into our lives. But on the flip side, the older she is when we have a second kid, the easier it could be to manage both kids. If one sleeps through the night and goes to bed on her own, having a new baby who is glued to me and keeps me up all night should be no less manageable than it was the first time.
In the summer, we thought seriously about starting to try for baby number 2 this December. But now, my wife and I are trying not to rush into having a second kid because we don’t know a couple of important aspects of how the near future will look. Most importantly, when will I finish my PhD, and will I find a job right away that I’ll be able to take a paid maternity leave from; and will we want to buy the small house we’re in (from my mom for an affordable price) and try to squeeze a family of four into it, or will we be trying to relocate to a bigger space outside the city.
As you’ve probably gathered from the last paragraph, we still plan to have a second child. It’s just that some days it seems like a terrifying and exhausting idea, while other days it seems like it can’t come soon enough.