The best laid plans

It’s seems that no matter how how much planning and intention is required for us to conceive a child, we’re always in a wishy-washy grey area of uncertainty when it comes to TTC plans. With our first, only one of us was ready in the first two cycles we tried. We spent a good year trying to determine when we would start, and didn’t get on the same page until the month we actually conceived.

This time around we’re in that same wishy-washy grey area of uncertainty. This time we’re both on board already, but knowing when to start trying depends on knowing when I’ll have defended my PhD. I won’t know that date with any certainty until about 3 months before I actually defend, and we’re not waiting until then to conceive because I’m putting my career on hold for baby #2. If all goes well with this next round of data collection, I can fairly safely say I’ll be done by mid-late fall 2019. So starting TTC in March would give me a window of 1-3 months between being done and having a baby. But I won’t know until April if I have all the data I need…

This all drives home the idea that there is no right time to have a baby. Even if there is an ideal time in your life to introduce a new baby, we really have little control over things like how long it takes to conceive or what surprise life event pops up while pregnant… The best we can do is to try to conceive with intent but be flexible and prepared to adjust expectations if/when an alternate reality slaps you in the face.


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