Mother’s Day

It’s almost that time of year again… I’ve hesitated to write about mother’s day previously because I don’t want to sound entitled or whiney, but having to share mother’s day with your partner kind of sucks. I know I sometimes need Hallmark to remind me to treat my wife to some affection and attention, but I’d also love it if mother’s day could be a day where I don’t have to plan a gift and a special meal and make sure my partner is feeling special. It’s crappy of me, I know, because my wife is a mom, too, and she rarely gets recognition for it.

We’ve talked about one of us “getting” father’s day instead, but I would also feel weird expecting pampering on a day called father’s day. So in the end, being in a same-sex parenting partnership seems to mean that you’ll never get a special day all to yourself where you don’t have to explicitly think about the well-being and happiness of your family.

And that’s all I want, really. I want to sleep in, drink coffee by myself, in my yard, and then spend the day gardening and doing my own thing. I’d love it if meals appeared in front of me. But instead, it’s just an ordinary day in the life, except my wife and I exchange gifts (a practice I don’t like but my other half does), and we have some sort of special meal, that we either make together, or go out for.

I suppose one day when our kid is older she can pamper us both, but at this stage in life, it’s just another Hallmark obligation for me.

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4 thoughts on “Mother’s Day

  1. I totally agree. We’ve basically agreed to ignore it, which is fine by me… I gently posed the idea that we might alternate getting Mother’s/Father’s days, but it was promptly declined. Our daughter has a special event at preschool tomorrow for Mom to join her, and we’ve decided to split the event in half. We could both go for the whole thing, but I don’t want to stand out too much for our daughter’s sake, and I don’t want to take the baby to our daughter’s special time. That also feels crummy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like you want a special day for you. Sort of like your birthday? So maybe start celebrating half birthdays and ignore the ‘mother’s day to-do’s ‘…. . WHILE REMEMBERING YOUR OWN MOTHER on mother’s day….. because………
    And, I do understand your desire for a holiday that is not work for you!!! It happens also to women when they and their partner both retire……but “she” has to continue meal preparation and house cleaning and “he” gets to ‘drink beer and watch tv’. Then “she” wants to really really fully retire and “he” has no idea what and why is being suggested. (the 70’s, 80’s and beyond are fascinating times for watching peer-aged couples!!!!!!!!)
    Thank you for posting. ‘Hallmark’ does create a huge amount of hurt feelings, unease, and fatigue.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am now contemplating why I should be celebrating 1/4 birthdays too……. QUITE delightful until I consider turn-around would be fair play. TIme to be you is rare with jobs, schools, children, spouses, loved ones. THANK YOU!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just wrote a blog post about those who feel sad or ambivalent on Mother’s Day. I didn’t think about your situation which presents an interesting twist on the topic. Happy Mother’s Day to the both of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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