I write mostly about Avery now, but there are some things about my changing body that I wanted to record.
I gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy, and somehow I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight already. I still have a loose, pudgy post-partum belly, but I really do feel respect for it and I’m not clamoring to get rid of it. I deem myself super lucky that my baby weight has fallen off on its own over time, although I credit a lot of the weight loss to breastfeeding, carrying a colicky baby around for hours (my arms have seriously never been so toned), and eating carefully because of my baby’s dairy protein allergy. Exercise should definitely be a goal just for the purpose of taking better care of myself, but knowing me, I don’t see that happening. Being a mom is exercise enough.
I didn’t get any stretch marks during pregnancy, but after breastfeeding for a couple of months I noticed intense stretch marks all over my boobs. They have also changed shape and are still quite unrecognizable as my own.
I was one of the lucky ones to get the pregnancy glow. I’ve always had terrible skin, with cystic acne for half my life. Pregnancy fixed all that. Now, 4 months later, I am getting acne in all the old hormonal patches again. Super bummer. Hopefully I don’t get more than one or two pimples at a time this time around so I can avoid going on medication.
My torn vagina is technically healed, but it is still sore sometimes and I absolutely cannot imagine having penetrative sex right now. Some days it’s painful to squat and even rock the baby back and forth, but most of the time I’m not aware of it.
Uh, what was I going to say? Memory is pretty awful, and my emotions still bubble over sometimes with more extreme highs and lows. I think this all comes with the territory of being overtired.
I feel like myself again – or rather, a new version of myself. I like this me better anyway. I’m more compassionate, patient, understanding, and loving than before. I feel like this “mom” persona fits me like a glove.